A servant for a day
by BIBOTOT
Summary: The ever irritating Rachel Alucard wants to have a maid for her castle. Unfortunately, the position is filled by none other than Ragna the Bloodedge. How will this turn out. Read and review.


Author's note: It's been a while since I wrote One-shot. So here you have it. Hope you enjoy.

_Things cannot go wrong_, that's what Ragna the Bloodedge, an SS class criminal of the NOL told himself that day. It was noon now, and he was tired after that going through the sparring with that ever-annoying Tao, so he decided to take a nap just outside the city. He had chosen a tranquil grass field, and as soon as he was about to close his eyes, something happened.

A warp-gate opened it mid air and a girl with blond hair and crimson eyes stood out. She was wearing a black and red dress, the same color of the familiars that were with her, respectively.

"Hello Ragna," she began in a soft voice. "What're you doing?"

"Nothing concerns you, rabbit," Ragna replied blankly.

"Oh dear," said Rachel, as if worried. "Such manner. You bark back so quickly like a dog. I deplore your attitude would not improve without the application of a nuclear bomb. Pity."

"What do you want?" asked Ragna curtly. "You're like a leech, always turning up when I least expect. Why don't you go and shit somebody else's ass and leave me alone?"

"Because you're my servant," said Rachel calmly. "And it's a servant's duty to perform whatever his mistress wants, whenever she wants."

"I'm not your servant," Ragna announced, turning away. "No go away already. Wake me up when Terumi's around."

"You leave me no choice, Ragna," said Rachel. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to use this."

"Use what?" asked Ragna, with an air of contempt.

"This." Rachel took out a picture from her pocket. The person inside it was none other than Ragna, but nothing like the one lying here. "Remember the time you were doing the _Inferno Divider_ on a _Carnage Scissor_ with a _Black Onslaught_ on your head while the _Hell's Fang_ was _Death Spike_?"

Ragna's face was losing color fast. How did she possibly know? He had tried so hard to hide this. If this ever got out, Arc System might have him replaced in the next game. His entire career might as well end here.

"Please, I'll do whatever you want, just don't," Ragna cried, kneeling and begging. "Just don't let anybody know."

"Will you be my slave for a day?"

"What?" Ragna shouted. "Hell no!"

"Then I'll just have to publish this image," said Rachel. "Too bad for you."

"Alright, you win," Ragna conceded. "Just one day. Then you let me destroy the evidence, OK?"

"It's a deal."

A moment later, in front of Rachel's castle.

"I'm not wearing this!" Ragna declared.

"Why so?" asked Rachel, as though she didn't understand why. The suit fit him well and it also blended it with the rose garden. The only problem was: it's a maid costume. Ragna the Bloodmaid.

"This is humiliating," Ragna explained. "Surely you have something better than this. And why can't I wear the butler one?"

"Why, Valkenhayn is the butler here," Rachel replied as she took a sip of her tea. "All I need now is a maid. And you fit that position well."

"I'm a man!" exclaimed Ragna. "A man! Which part of it don't you get? I look like some sort of pervert here."

"Now now, Ragna, be chill," said Rachel. "You're screaming like a baby whose candy has been taken away."

"Yeah, baby Bloodedge," echoed Gii.

"There's nothing wrong with those clothes," added Nago. "You look more fabulous than ever."

"Well, then," Rachel continued. "There's work to do and Valkenhayn is unfortunately suffering from a severe case of oral papillomatosis. So you'll do the house work from here on." And she gave him a list.

"Me?" Ragna countered. "Do I look like a maid to you? What a minute, I AM! FUCK!"

"And no more vulgarity," Rachel admonished rigidly. "No on with your task."

And so Ragna spent the rest of the day laboring himself without a moment of rest. As the end of the afternoon, he felt both physically and emotionally drained. Ragna could never understand how Valkenhayn tolerate this.

"All…done," Ragna reported to Rachel. "I have cleaned the bathroom, washed the dishes, watered the roses, repainted the castle walls, fed Nago and Gii, watered the roses again, wiped the gravestones, cooked dinner, punched Terumi in the face, which was the only thing I gladly performed, and rearranged the books on the shelves. There. That's all of them. Now can I pleeeeease have that picture."

"My my, you really are trustworthy servant, aren't you," Rachel chuckled. "But not yet. I still have more tasks for you."

"What else would you want?" Ragna raged. "You evil blood sucking bunny. Just wait until I get my vengeance on you. You're going to regret it, you hear me."

"Then until that day, Ragna," Rachel responded solemnly. "Since you bark like a dog, why don't you be a dog instead?"

"How do I do that?"

"Sit."

Ragna sat.

"Roll over."

He rolled on the roses while Nago and Gii laughed audibly.

"Now speak."

"I will kill you," growled Ragna.

"I said_ speak_," Rachel repeated.

"Wolf wolf."

"Now you're barking like a cat. Speak again."

"WOLF WOLF!"

"That's more like it," commented Rachel.

"Now can I have it?" asked Ragna expectantly.

"Just one more thing, then I'll give it to you," said Rachel blandly. "Will you, my gentleman, give me foot massage? My feet kinda, well, hurt."

"What?" cried Ragna. "You've got to be kidding me. That's it, rabbit, you've gone too far, I'm going to…" Then, he thought about all his achievement during the past six hours, all to be wasted just because this. "Fine, but just this one, OK?"

With a great sigh, Ragna removed the vampire's boot and carefully squeezing her feet. Thank goodness it didn't smell like Bang's feet thanks to the excessive use of perfume.

"Hihi," Rachel snickered. "Not so hard, Ragna. That tickles."

An idea flashed out at the edge of Ragna's mind. It's vengeance time, even if it mean furthermore humiliating himself.

"Then how about this," said Ragna as he moved his finger across her beautiful sole.

"Hihihi! Hahahah!" Rachel burst to laughter. "You're a cruel man, aren't you. Hihihi!"

"Is this what you really want?" Ragna asked as her poked her toes.

"Hahahaha! Ok! You can stop now," squirmed Rachel, panting heavily.

Ragna did as she told. "Alright, the evidence. Now. No more games, rabbit. We've got a deal."

"So hasty," said Rachel, "but here. You can have it." She threw the picture to him. "After watching this ten times it feels…bored. This, however, is more fun. I couldn't reckon when was the last time I laughed this much. You really should come back more often, Ragna."

"Rather not," said Ragna tersely as he picked up the image, took another gaze in disgust, and methodically disposed of it in the FLAME OF ABYSS.

"But you will," Rachel went on. "I'll always be here when you do. And next time we're going to have even more fun."  
"Shut up and get me out of here," Ragan snarled. A second later, he found himself standing in the middle of Kagutsuchi.

"Finally, it's over," he sighed.

"Ragna, there you are," came a familiar voice. Kokonoe appeared.

"What are you doing here?" asked Ragna, surprised.

"I've seen all you back there," the mad scientist continued. "My god. Ragna the Maidedge. That's one hell of a shit. And best of all, I've got all the footage right here," she reached for a video from her pocket. "Man, can't wait to let everyone know about this."

Ragna seemed to lose his color fast, if that were even possible. His face was pale, drained of blood quicker than Rachel could ever did. "No. Please. I'll do anything you want. They'll kill me."

"Well," said Kokonoe impishly. "I could give you back. If you promise you would be my slave for a day, of course."

"WHAAAAAAAAT?"

"Does that mean I get a day off?" asked Tager, popping out.

"Don't even think of that," Kokonoe replied. "He's my secondary specimen. If anything on you doesn't fit, I'll put it on him."

With that, Tager retreated.

Ragna kneeled down. The world seemed to collapse on his head.

"WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?"


End file.
